Here we go Again…

I know you haven’t heard from me in quite a while, but school had taken every bit of my time and even more of my energy.  So even when I had a little downtime, the desire to do more writing was not there.  Also, some events in the surrounding blog community had some influence as well – specifically the disappearance of Amar’s World.  On my list of links, I have added a link to a mirror site set up shortly after Amar went offline.  I have been reluctant to encourage this, since there may have been a reason Amar’s World was taken offline rather than continuing to stay up with no more posts.  But the overall good the site has done outweighs the other concerns, especially since nobody has requested this site be taken down.  The posts are a great source of hope and possibility so I continue to provide this legacy link.

The academic portion of my studies are now complete and I have begun my internship (a paid one!) in Toronto.  To save money (and quickly get my debts paid off) I have moved back home with my family again.  What this means though, is a very long commute to work every day.  However, the good side of this is that I have three hours sitting on the train every weekday.  I think this is a good opportunity to add writing time back into my schedule, so I will now try to restart the blog.  Just so everyone is aware, one thing you will not see here is anything about my work.  The company I work for has many clients with strong privacy requirements and my employer takes privacy and security very seriously.  My supervisors are also aware of my blog so it certainly can’t be hidden (in fact I used one of my posts as a writing sample during my interview!).

As before, I do not know how frequent my posts will be, or even if this new dedication to my blog will continue, since I have made similar promises before.  And of course I have no idea how frequent the posts might be, so we will all have to just wait and see.

I wonder how many of my old readers are still here and even no I am writing again?  Amar’s Brotherhood used to be my largest reader base and that source has been cut off, in addition to my not posting for 6 months.  Yet my daily hit totals are not much below what they were last year, so I wonder who my readers are.  Regardless, I will continue to write primarily for me as opposed to for whomever I believe to be reading.  Stay tuned for more posts…I hope.

It's Been A While

Here we are again, such a long time without posting.  But then this has been a very busy time for me.  In less than two weeks I will be moving out again – this time to Barrie – and will be beginning my studies at Georgian College as I enter the field of marketing research.  So this month has been about finding housing, figuring out my finances, and just getting mentally ready to go back to school and be ready to work at a level I haven’t been at in years.  I have been looking forward to this for quite some time now and it is almost here.

My new school

Now how will my starting school affect the blog?  Honestly I’m not sure.  On the one hand, I will be busier than I have been in a very long time, so I might well be too busy to write posts most of the time.  But on the other hand, I have a feeling that this move might actually motivate me to write more often.  Almost immediately after I moved back home over a year ago, the frequency of my posts dropped off dramatically, even though for much of the time I was not particularly busy.  I now believe part of the reason was that, as I am living with my parents, I talk to them every day and discuss various issues, and consequently have less need to write for the blog.  Now in Barrie I will again be living on my own, so I hope that will mean I will want to write more so I can share my thoughts with people, since my family is no longer living under the same roof.    So maybe more posts will be coming soon.  Or not.  But I have plans for more posts and at least one that should be coming up quite soon.  So keep checking and see what happens.

A New Year - A New Direction

I realize I have not been posting much at all in the last little while. There are a few reasons, some of which involve my increased focus on a new career path, some things are personal, and some is just laziness. The truth is, when I do not make a habit of writing reguarly for the blog, it just doesn’t happen and weeks go by. Also, since I have been living at home, there are more people to talk to so I do not feel as much of a need to write about the various things I think about.

No, this blog isn’t going anywhere. I think this has just been another cycle where I don’t post much and the frequency may increase in the future, but I am just not sure. A lot depends on my new plans and how busy I will be. I told you all some time ago that I would not be making a career as a chef and would be looking for a better paying, more intellectually fulfilling line of work. Now I believe I have reached a decision as to what I want. As my background is in Psychology, my first step was to meet with a career counsellor at the University where I did my undergraduate work. She was able to highlight various careers that psychology graduates go into, focussing on those that do not require a PhD, which I have no desire to get. It did become clear that a Bachelor’s alone was generally insufficient for any of these fields. Some required a Master’s while others look for various graduate diplomas in particular specialties. Areas like therapy and most non-profits did not seem to fit with my temperament or interests, but one thing that stuck out was marketing research. I was unsure about this initially because I didn’t know that this was any different from marketing, which is rather low level and rather devoid of ethics. But on doing further research, I found there is a big difference. Marketing research is the field that lays the ground work and provides information for marketers to do what they do. Market research also includes polling firms and all those polls you see day after day during election campaigns (which are now eternal, right?) In this industry, it seems there are many different types of qualifications, from MBAs to PhDs to nothing more than a bachelor’s. Most though, expect some sort of graduate education in business, marketing, or consumer studies. One option I have is a Master’s program here at Guelph, but that is three years, a lot of money, and no direct work experience. And at my debt level and age, time and money are very much considerations. Then I found a graduate diploma program at Georgian College in Barrie, Ontario, which is about 2 hours away from Guelph. Their program is one year, costs about the same as one year of graduate school, and includes a 3 month paid internship with leading companies in the field, many of whom hire most of their employees from graduates of this program.

So now I have just put in my application for this program and, if accepted, I will start in school next fall and hopefully be working in the industry a year later. Of course this means a great deal more debt, but government student loans should be able to cover all the tuition and a good deal of my living expenses during that time. So if all goes well, I will be living at home for only another 8 months.

Now in the New Year, I find it interesting to look back on the post I wrote last New Year’s Day. On the surface, it would seem that few of the goals I set last year are actually accomplished now. I am not currently employed and do not have a boyfriend. Yet I do finally have a career track planned out, one that should be more rewarding, both personally and financially. As for my personal life, I think that living at home probably has held me back somewhat, but mainly because I am not in a large city and my lack of funds means I can’t really go out much. This is another reason going back to school appeals to me: even though Barrie is not a big city and somewhat on the conservative side, a college environment will probably be good for me. But at least this New Year’s Eve, unlike last year, I was not alone. We hosted a New Year’s party with some family friends, which also gave me the chance to spend lots of time working on an elaborate party menu. Fun times. I do still love some aspects of the culinary arts, but that can never be my career. Maybe one day, it could be a side venture but not a full time job.

I am still thinking about some interesting topics for posts. There’s one interesting topic I am working on now and, as my parents are once again in Hawaii for holidays, I may do some Hawaii-related posts as I did last year.

Having Fun in Guelph

One thing I miss about living in Montreal is the festivals. So much goes on there that one can always find something interesting to do. There is also a great deal of nightlife that is generally assumed not to exist in smaller communities. I have always considered Guelph to a very sedate city, where everyone goes to bed early and not much exciting happens. Well, that’s not entirely the case. Having a big University here is of course one important driving force, as university students want to have some kind of nightlife. Today I will discuss two events I attended recently that were well attended and great fun. First is the Guelph Ribfest, which I mentioned in an earlier post, that took place at the end of August. The other is Guelph’s own Nuit Blanche, in conjunction with the Guelph Jazz Festival, that occurred two weeks ago.

Ribfest has been an annual event here for some time, and is put on by the Rotary Club of Guelph. It is part of Ontario’s BBQ contest circuit, just like the Rib and Chicken cook-off in Ottawa that I mentioned previously. It takes place on the north end of Riverside Park, one of Guelph’s largest public parks, which features a large field more than big enough to accommodate a festival. There were 9 competing ribbers, including Blazin BBQ that I reviewed in Ottawa. However, unlike Ottawa there was a lot more to the festival than just the contestants. There were many other stalls that sold various sides, most of them along the lines of carnival foods. There were blooming onions, roasted corn on the cob, ice cream and even a funnel cake cart that did all kinds of stuff fried and “on a stick”. There was also a midway, a stage with live musical acts, and a beer tent. And thanks to new provincial liquor laws, you could actually consume alcohol anywhere inside the grounds of the event, rather than only in a designated “beer tent”. Still, there wasn’t that much drinking, as this seemed to have a definite fairground sort of atmosphere and very family-friendly. Near the entrance to the festival site, there was a classic car show. Unlike classic car shows at, say, a major auto show, there was only minimal registration for this event. The way I understand it, if you want to take part, you simply show up in your car and let them know you want to display in the show. This means that not all the cars are on display at any one time and they are there as long as their owners want. This has always been successful and I know there are many classic car owners in the Guelph area.





I had visited before, years ago, with my family and they were not overly impressed. Partly, my dad doesn’t like pork ribs or waiting in lines. Also it was rainy when we were there and it didn’t seem all that impressive. This year, we had beautiful weather all weekend and we approached the event in a smarter way. I went first to scout things out and ensure that at least some of the contestants were offering beef ribs, which we all love, and to determine a reasonable plan of action. The one difficulty was parking - this event is getting so big and popular there are not enough parking spaces. The dual problems of lines and finding a place to sit were resolved by having my dad reserve a place and sit while the rest of us went to wait in line for the food. The ribs were great once again, and the blooming onions were huge and perfectly fried. We all had a great meal and a great time and we plan to go again.




Nuit Blanche is a general term for a festival that is held at night, and runs from dusk to dawn. This is something that has been done for a while in Paris and Berlin and has expanded to Canada. Montreal has had one for quite a while, and Toronto has one as well. They are usually associated with music festivals, but sometimes they will be tied to other celebrations. This is the second year that Guelph has included a Nuit Blanche as part of the Jazz festival. As I said above, Guelph is not considered a late-night kind of place, but the timing was perfect. Student move-in day at the University was one week before this event so the city has just had an influx of many young people wanting to stay up late and party. Generally, the late night scene in Guelph focuses on a cluster of bars and clubs in a section of the downtown, which many downtown residents do not like because of all the late night drunkenness and disorder. Last week, it was certainly busy at the bars, but there were even more people downtown for the jazz festival. In the evening they had a jazz tent covering about a block of a downtown street, complete with food, beer and a stage featuring free concerts, continuing until a bit after midnight. But the real action was in various other locations throughout the downtown with numerous concerts continuing all through the night. There was one in an alleyway behind a café on Douglas street, a very small street right near the square. There I heard A Dangerously Funky Night with Mr. Danger. The crowd was really into it and there was a bit of dancing (oh, and a few hot guys too!) After that, there was a great set, headlined “Love and Affection”, performed by Woodshed Orchestra, in a hall inside a nearby church. They were kind of a jazz/dixieland mix and had a good sense of humour too. A lot of the same people from the Douglas Alley show were here as well and were even more exuberant. Many of those same hot guys were there and dancing at this one too, and I did get the impression that at least some of them, and possibly a large number of them, could be gay. I didn’t get a chance to talk with them and you can really never tell in an environment like this, but this was encouraging to me. First of all, it is so rare to see men really enjoying dancing when they’re not directly dancing with a girl, and especially for guys to dance as a group. I have always considered Guelph very conservative so this is a good sign since this indicates more openness at the least. And of course no one took any offense to these guys in any way. Of course I spent a good deal of time watching them! I probably should have tried to strike up a conversation though. Well, at least I got more involved than I usually would. One step at a time.

At two I started to listen to another performance at the same location, but I wasn’t really into this one, so after a while I decided to leave and get something to eat. Yes, it was 2:30 in the morning but there is a new establishment in Guelph that specializes in Poutine. Poutine is a Quebec specialty which is, at its most basic, french fries covered in brown gravy and topped with cheese curds. Smoke's Poutinerie, part of a chain, stays open until 4 in the morning, allowing them to make a mint off the crowd coming out of the bars. In Guelph, the bars close at 2, so going there at 2:30 on Sunday morning (after Saturday night) was probably a mistake. The shop was packed with the ordering line snaking back all the way to the door. Everyone seemed to be yelling - but apparently only the customers (!). More proof, drunk people love poutine! But you don’t have to be drunk to eat this - just not be health conscious. Also fantastic for a hangover. I feel that I need at least one more visit before providing a full review so consider this a preliminary review. In addition to the traditional poutine, they also offer many variations, mainly with various meat toppings, such as sausage, chilli, pulled pork or even Montreal Smoked Meat. There are also vegetarian options, which use a vegetarian gravy. I only had the basic poutine, and after tasting it, I found it was very good, but I have reason to think their more elaborate offerings might be better. For this reason I want to try them again before giving a full review. What I will say that their fries are impeccable and they do not cut corners by using packaged ingredients.

So there is some fun to be had in Guelph, at least on occasion.

An Update

I realize I haven’t been updating my blog much lately, but I have had a lot of other things to think about. While looking for a job, initially without much success, I was not really feeling up to writing. In addition, my laptop, which has been in the process of dying on me over the last several months, may have died for good and, until I find out if it can be repaired, any drafts of posts I was working on are still stuck on my computer until it is either repaired or if I know it can’t be repaired I can transfer all my files to the machine I’m using now. It is my dad’s laptop and, as he will be buying a new one sometime in the next couple months, I will be using his laptop as my primary computer.

But now I have a new job and am working full time for the first time in over 5 months. It is another cooking job and, as this job may lead to management possibilities, I will give the industry one more chance and see if I can make this work for me. It is one of the best restaurants in town and they place a focus on local ingredients and sustainability, principles very important to me. While my computer issues are not yet resolved, they are at least stabilized. I will have some recipes for you shortly.

Thanks for staying with me, even if have not been posting often lately.

Moving On and Starting Over

I told you in my last post that I was leaving Montreal. I’ll explain what happened and what I’ll be doing next. I have said earlier that I was planning on a career change away from cooking. Over the last couple months the situation has become more pressing as my hours at work were drastically cut back and I was having a lot of trouble finding a new job, or even a second part-time job that would help to fill the gap. Part of the problem is that some of the qualities needed to be a good line cook are my weaknesses: keeping everything neat and tidy while working fast, doing things fast without thinking, and some mild weakness in organization. While some of these things were improving - at my age and years in the business it is not fast enough in my mind, especially in light of how far there is yet to go before I could hope to make a decent rate of pay. Over this time period I was making almost no money, certainly not anywhere near enough to merely meet my basic living expenses, and found myself with a large amount of debt and also unable to pay my rent and utilities. So, the remaining solution is to move back home with my parents, where I am now. I will be living here for a while until I have cleared out most of my debt and can again afford to live independently. I hope to be passed this stage soon, but it could be several months. Oh, and if anyone was wondering about the $100 I spent for that restaurant meal I reviewed in my last post, it was part of a loan from my parents and they gave approval to use the money for this.

Now I want to make one thing clear. I am not moaning or complaining about my situation, nor am I fishing for sympathy. I have seen several blogs that I will not name, wherein many posts seem to make dramatic, or even melodramatic, statements about how horrible their life is and they’ve lost hope, feel they can’t go on, etc., etc., ... Now I’m not denigrating genuine depression and authentic cries for help, but I honestly find it hard to believe the natural outlet for such feelings and emotions is a blog read by the public. I’ve often noticed the most despondent sounding posts seem to get so many more comments. Because comments and hits are the best measures of how popular your material is, I can’t help but suspect that these sob stories are an attempt to play on people’s sympathies so as to increase their numbers. So maybe this post should instead be about how I’m sinking into a spiral of despair and am buried under a mountain of debt and am forced to suffer the indignity of moving back in with my parents at the age of 29. None of this is an accurate depiction of my outlook or how I view the situation but then, it would be nice to attract more readers...

So why am I posting about this? Well, for starters, this blog is primarily for myself, as a way to express myself and write about the ideas I’m pondering. While I am in no way depressed or embarrassed about my circumstances, I do sometimes think of this as a failure so writing about the experience helps me to sort out my feelings and recast this as a positive learning experience and a chance to regroup to prepare for a step forward.

My blog will continue as before and I will be continuing to post from my new location. My parents have upgraded to a wireless network so I will be able to have independent internet access from my laptop and maintain my privacy. They understand things are different from when I moved out years ago and my needs for privacy have increased. Still, this makes me even happier that I came out last year, otherwise trying to hide this increasingly large part of my life would have been an unbelievably heavy burden to bear. It’s hard enough to be in the closet and coming out is such a liberating experience, it would be really distressing to have to go back inside. My parents know about my blog and many of the blogs I follow and that I may be interested in things that they may not have a desire to see.

As for work, I will still probably get another kitchen job for a while just to make my payments while I look for something better. I think it will be easier now that I am living in Ontario, as the language barrier is no longer an issue. I am fluent in French, but the problem is “fluent” is really not enough for many in Quebec. Even by my name, I am immediately identified as an anglophone and, while I don’t think I lost jobs based on not being francophone, my lack of ease with the language likely hindered my progress. And if I am going to enter a career where I use my mind and communication skills more, I will certainly have to be able to do that job in English - something not possible in Quebec. If it seems like I’m being vague about my career path, it’s probably because I don’t yet have a fixed idea of what I am going to do. Human Resources is a possibility and it would be nice to do something within the food or food service industry. If I stay in that industry employers will likely realize that my work experience does provide skills I can use in other jobs. I may go back to cooking sometime in the future, especially if I get the funds to go into business for myself.

I haven’t been blogging for a while but that is pretty much because I was trying to detail with all the details of my move, packing everything up for the movers, cleaning the apartment, and having more limited internet access for the first few days back home before the wireless got set up. With everything on my mind, writing blog entries was very low on my list. Now things are settled down and I want to write again. I may or may not give you updates on my progress, as that will depend on whether I think there is something interesting to discuss about my life and/or career path. I will of course continue to write about food, recipes and whatever else seems interesting to me, just as before.

The Two Sides of Me

Before I begin my first post of 2011, I must first wish a Happy Birthday to my mom. Yes, she was born on New Year’s and, as a result, it’s almost impossible to forget her birthday. Happy Birthday and I love you!!

**********************************************************

In the About Me section on the sidebar, I mention that Evan is not my real name, and I believe I very briefly mentioned why I chose this name in an early post. In the past month, more people who know me in real life have begun to read my blog and I have plans to expand my readership. That is why at this point I have decided to tell everyone my real name. My name is Asa Goldman, but apart from my name, everything I have told you about myself thus far is accurate. I won’t really be divulging many more details about my personal life than I already do, as some things must always remain private. I also now have several family members who are aware of this blog and I need to respect their privacy as well. So why am I doing this? I have told my new readers beforehand that I use a pseudonym, so why would I take this extra step? The reasons for that decision are the topics of this post. But before I get on to that, I would like you all to know that, for the purposes of blogging, I plan at this time to continue using the name of Evan here and on other blogs where I comment, for the sake of clarity and continuity. Feel free to continue addressing me as Evan, but if some of you feel more comfortable using my real name, that is fine as well.

This has a lot to do with the way in which I chose to come out and my discovery of this online community. I first stumbled across Amar’s World in April at a time when I was finally beginning to accept that I was gay. I was still not out to anyone at this time. I was hooked on the blog instantly and read it for a month before I had the courage to post a comment for the first time. Now as you now know, my name is rather distinctive so I was afraid that, if I used my real name when commenting, someone might stumble across these comments and recognize me, because there really aren’t that many people named Asa. So I decided to use the name Evan, after a family friend, the only person around my age I knew who was openly gay at the time. I’m sure that I’ve mentioned this before but reading Amar’s blog gave me more reassurance and the courage to start coming out. In June I began by telling my parents and, shortly thereafter, I decided to start my own blog. As I continued to develop the blog and do more online, including continuing to comment on Amar’s World and other blogs, I began to notice something. The first thing is that I found a community where I can truly be myself, where being gay is just part of existence - neither a negative nor an obsession. This community feeling, combined with the development of my writing showed my that, while I try very hard to remain true to myself in my writing, there were two distinct identities forming within myself. First there is Asa, the person I am in real life. I have always been very shy and quiet, and ill at ease in social situations. I say very little, especially if I am in a group or I don’t know the person I’m conversing with well. I have noticed that “Evan” is different. While Evan is still not especially outgoing and does tend to be very deliberative when it comes to social interaction, there is a lot more assertiveness present and he is far more likely to say what is on his mind. Now obviously both Asa and Evan are me. But Evan is a lot more like the me I want to be. I know that being too meek has held me back in many areas, including my work and getting an active social life. It seems to me Evan would do far better, with the same knowledge, the same personality, but more confidence and assertiveness. I realize that it is in part the anonymous nature of the Internet that allows me to be more forthcoming. Another reason Evan comes across as more well spoken is that, when writing online, I can take time to choose my words and be sure that I am saying exactly what I want. While it is probably only going to take you a few minutes to read this, I have taken almost a week to write it. If I were to do this in real life I would be taken for an idiot, as I would spend most of my time saying nothing at all. Unfortunately, this often results in my staying quiet during social occasions, as I’m not sure exactly what I want to say. Despite these complications, my goal is to try to transfer this openness to my offline life.

So why am I mentioning this now? With the New Year upon us, I see this realization that I have two sides of myself as an avenue for improvement. I never really had any concept of how I could become more assertive in my everyday life, but what I have been able to do as Evan gives me some possibilities. I was able to tell Amar and his readers through my comments that I was gay even before I went to tell my parents, and they were the first people to whom I was able to openly admit this. Since then I have told several more people and have now reached a level of comfort where I am fully comfortable with this information being generally known. It’s not like I’m going to walk up to people and say “Hi, I’m gay!” but I want to be free to make certain statements and publicize them through media like my Facebook if I so desire. And if the topic comes up in conversation, it doesn’t matter if friends or family happen to mention this information to others. I am not deluded to the point that I don’t realize there are haters out there but I honestly don’t have the time for it. If someone can’t handle my being gay, that’s their problem, not mine.

Well, it is now the year 2011. I have been writing this over the course of the past week, and I am now writing this section early on January 1. The year did not end the way I wanted it to, but I can see a new beginning for the next year. I will probably be looking to change my field of work because, while cooking is probably my greatest passion, I am starting to realize the restaurant industry is not right for me. The frantic pace, the lack of security and low pay are just getting to be too much to stomach, especially as I will be 30 in less than a year. I have a university degree and some experience in other fields, so there are easier ways to make money in ways that I can actually use my intellectual abilities. In addition to getting a better job, my other goal for the new year is to find a boyfriend. I spent this New Year’s alone, and I would rather not do that next year. One never knows if these future goals will actually be met within a specific time frame, but at least I have specific goals on which to focus. I am also trying to enter the new year with a positive attitude, and I’m sure that will help.

Restaurants In Crisis

The last couple weeks have been difficult for me, as I now find myself out of a job. I wasn’t fired and didn’t quit. I work as a cook in restaurants and the place I worked at was sold, putting the entire staff out of work. So now I need a new job. What is interesting is that I did expect something like this to happen sooner or later. In fact I thought the restaurant might actually fail rather than get sold. So I suppose it is a good thing for the owner, but that doesn’t make a difference for the rest of us.

How did I know that this would happen? When you work in a restaurant, certain things become obvious. Lack of customers during much of the week and too many slow weekends are glaring problems but there are other signs that are more subtle. Before I mention them I would like to acknowledge that the book Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain has greatly influenced my perspective on this issue (very well written and I very highly recommend this book to anyone who enjoys cooking or eating out). He has worked in many doomed restaurants and went into great detail in describing the signs of a failing restaurant. There are some things only an employee will notice but there are signs that will be evident to the diner as well. Obviously, if the restaurant is not full, particularly between 7 and 9, the prime dining hours, that is a bad sign. Staff going home long before closing time is often a sign of trouble - the extra employees were there in the hopes of there being more customers but now they are being cut to save money. On a related note, if you see more staff than customers, BAD SIGN. While the next indication did not apply to my restaurant, if you see a menu that has way too many items and seems to cater to all tastes and culinary styles, this is a sign of desperation. Another clue would be sudden changes in price structure, usually in the downward direction. The employees will notice more, such as economising on ingredients, equipment going unrepaired (BIG red flag and very noticeable at my workplace), staffing cuts, and other things.

Usually it is poor quality of food that drags down a restaurant, but that did not apply to my workplace; I was fairly proud of the food we served. I think the biggest problem in this particular case was location. This was an upscale bistro, located in a somewhat trendy neighbourhood, but one populated mainly by students and young families. This means the rent is rather high and the locals aren’t likely to frequent the restaurant on a very regular basis. The restaurant had no space to set up a patio in the summertime, a greatly desired feature of restaurants in Montreal, where I am living. This meant the usual busy time for restaurants, summer, was not as busy as it should be and the rest of the time business was quite unpredictable. These, together with other factors, contributed to the demise of the restaurant.

Still, this closure is symptomatic of the plight of other Montreal area restaurants in the past few years. Especially since the recession took hold, a lot of restaurants have closed, including a number of restaurants that had been viable for years. The problem is that, although Montreal is a dining-out city, the recession hit Montreal with less severity than the US, but still pretty bad. In addition the city has been slower to recover than many other places in Canada, some of which are now well on the way to recovery. With more people still out of work and budgets of the employed still squeezed, pricy restaurants are seen as a dispensable luxury and people are instead opting to eat at cheap, casual eateries (like chains, cafes, pizzerias, etc.). Last year’s temporary loss of the Formula 1 Grand Prix auto race was an additional blow to many downtown restaurants, when coupled with the lousy economy and a rainy summer. While things look better this summer, I’m not sure the fine dining culture in Montreal will fully recover. This may seem somewhat depressing, but there is still plenty of work out there and I expect to have another job before too long.

In closing, I would like to point out that there have been additional benefits to losing this job. I was trying to find a better job for a while now but was limited in what I could apply for and what jobs I could accept because of my work schedule, roadblocks that are now removed. I have more time to be more proactive in my job search and seek out opportunities that might have been overlooked. Separately, the extra free time generated from not having a job has given me the time to get this blog started and built up to the point where I will be able to maintain it when I have work again.

Extra Note: Anthony Bourdain’s books, beginning with Kitchen Confidential, have also been an influence in the creation of this blog. In his books, Bourdain displays a very vivid yet sophisticated writing style which I greatly admire. His book at first scared me away from cooking as a profession, then drew me towards it. Now I have more of his books, including travelogues, articles and even a novel, which have inspired me to combine food and writing. Expect to see more food-related writing here in the future.

A Different Kind of Coming Out Story

This is my first post on this, my first blog. So, in a way, I am coming out as a blogger. Also, I am gay and recently told my parents. That is considered coming out too. There are many blogs that tell the stories of gay boys/men coming out (I assume that there are stories of females who come out as well but I have not read many of these). In general, they tell the story of what was said, how everyone reacted, the feelings felt afterward, and the ensuing consequences. I suppose I could do this, since I now have my own experience to share, but I won’t, at least not in detail. Suffice it to say that my parents were understanding, loving and accepting, only concerned about my happiness.

So if I’m not giving my story, why am I writing about coming out? For one thing, I had to first come out to myself before coming out to anyone else. Once the first was finally done, the next stage - telling those closest to me - came fairly quickly. Also, coinciding with my decision to come out as gay, was the decision to “come out” and begin writing a blog. This “coming out” is actually far more interesting to me and I’m sure will end up revealing more about myself than a mere classification of sexual orientation. And thus begins a different kind of coming out story.

Why blog? Well, for me the primary reason would be that I enjoy writing. I have always been somewhat of an intellectual so I think about many things. Unfortunately I also have Attention Deficit Disorder, or ADD, and as a result, my thoughts tend to range off in random directions. Unchecked, this would render my writing scattered and impossible to follow (if this description applies to this post so far, here’s my pathetic excuse neatly laid in). Recently I came upon a very well written blog from a brilliant young man named Amar. His blog, Amar’s World, is one my inspirations and is well worth a visit. One of the tricks he revealed to his writing is editing and re-editing. To me, this appeared to be an excellent way to keep my thoughts in order so that I could actually tell people what was in my head so they could understand. Eventually I may aspire to be a published author and this exercise will put me back into the practice of writing in a disciplined manner.

So why have I not started a blog already? The main reason would be that until I found Amar’s World, my impression was that most, if not all blogs were carelessly written and discussed matters of little interest to me. Amar showed me that there is a place in the blogoshpere for a writerly publication, which would be the only thing I would want to write. I realize that a sophisticated piece that considers intellectual topics may not have broad appeal but I am not seeking to be the web’s next big hit. I am doing this for myself and, if a few others find me and appreciate what I offer, all the better.

Another reason I have not started a blog until now is that I tend to be a very private person and do not like to share much personal information, yet I do have a need to share my thoughts with others in some manner. In the manner I have set up this blog, I think I may have struck a workable balance. You will notice on the sidebar that Evan is not my real name. It is the name of someone I know whose personal circumstances have had an emotional impact on me. By using a pseudonym, I can still tell people personal things but it is less likely that anyone I know in real life will connect me with this blog. Eventually, I may tell some people I know about this part of me, but for now I would prefer to keep these two aspects of myself separate.

So welcome to my blog. This blog will be about the things that interest me. Cooking is my profession, so food & cooking will definitely be a topic I will come back to repeatedly. I will also cover academic topics when they relate to something I am thinking about, particularly psychology and philosophy - topics with which I have some level of expertise. I may also offer my thoughts and opinions on news of the day. I will also allow you into my life and tell you (a little) about how my days have gone. I may discuss “gay issues” from time to time but don’t think that this is a “gay” blog, since this aspect of myself is not especially important to me. I would ask however, that you not hold me to this description as this blog is very much a work in progress and may change substantially over time. The only things that are for certain are that I will put effort into the writing and the style will be unmistakeably my own. Beyond that, all bets are off.

I don’t think I’ll be posting every day but I will try to post something on a regular basis. I like my posts to be interesting, thoughtful and well-written, which takes some time. This post, in particular, has been written over a period of many days. This means that even those posts that recount current events in my life will not appear until several days after the mentioned events. Do not consider this some kind of pre-apology, because I am NOT sorry and do not compromise when it comes to writing in the manner I want. I encourage my readers to leave comments on my posts. Share an opinion, give advice, ask questions or just comment on what you see. Since this is my first blog I’m not sure what the most appropriate filter settings would be. As I want to encourage dialogue, I will leave things fully open for now and see how it works, then change things if necessary. If anyone has insights to share on this issue, let me know as well. Hope everyone enjoyed this post (and also hope I’m not just talking to myself).