A Different Kind of Coming Out Story

This is my first post on this, my first blog. So, in a way, I am coming out as a blogger. Also, I am gay and recently told my parents. That is considered coming out too. There are many blogs that tell the stories of gay boys/men coming out (I assume that there are stories of females who come out as well but I have not read many of these). In general, they tell the story of what was said, how everyone reacted, the feelings felt afterward, and the ensuing consequences. I suppose I could do this, since I now have my own experience to share, but I won’t, at least not in detail. Suffice it to say that my parents were understanding, loving and accepting, only concerned about my happiness.

So if I’m not giving my story, why am I writing about coming out? For one thing, I had to first come out to myself before coming out to anyone else. Once the first was finally done, the next stage - telling those closest to me - came fairly quickly. Also, coinciding with my decision to come out as gay, was the decision to “come out” and begin writing a blog. This “coming out” is actually far more interesting to me and I’m sure will end up revealing more about myself than a mere classification of sexual orientation. And thus begins a different kind of coming out story.

Why blog? Well, for me the primary reason would be that I enjoy writing. I have always been somewhat of an intellectual so I think about many things. Unfortunately I also have Attention Deficit Disorder, or ADD, and as a result, my thoughts tend to range off in random directions. Unchecked, this would render my writing scattered and impossible to follow (if this description applies to this post so far, here’s my pathetic excuse neatly laid in). Recently I came upon a very well written blog from a brilliant young man named Amar. His blog, Amar’s World, is one my inspirations and is well worth a visit. One of the tricks he revealed to his writing is editing and re-editing. To me, this appeared to be an excellent way to keep my thoughts in order so that I could actually tell people what was in my head so they could understand. Eventually I may aspire to be a published author and this exercise will put me back into the practice of writing in a disciplined manner.

So why have I not started a blog already? The main reason would be that until I found Amar’s World, my impression was that most, if not all blogs were carelessly written and discussed matters of little interest to me. Amar showed me that there is a place in the blogoshpere for a writerly publication, which would be the only thing I would want to write. I realize that a sophisticated piece that considers intellectual topics may not have broad appeal but I am not seeking to be the web’s next big hit. I am doing this for myself and, if a few others find me and appreciate what I offer, all the better.

Another reason I have not started a blog until now is that I tend to be a very private person and do not like to share much personal information, yet I do have a need to share my thoughts with others in some manner. In the manner I have set up this blog, I think I may have struck a workable balance. You will notice on the sidebar that Evan is not my real name. It is the name of someone I know whose personal circumstances have had an emotional impact on me. By using a pseudonym, I can still tell people personal things but it is less likely that anyone I know in real life will connect me with this blog. Eventually, I may tell some people I know about this part of me, but for now I would prefer to keep these two aspects of myself separate.

So welcome to my blog. This blog will be about the things that interest me. Cooking is my profession, so food & cooking will definitely be a topic I will come back to repeatedly. I will also cover academic topics when they relate to something I am thinking about, particularly psychology and philosophy - topics with which I have some level of expertise. I may also offer my thoughts and opinions on news of the day. I will also allow you into my life and tell you (a little) about how my days have gone. I may discuss “gay issues” from time to time but don’t think that this is a “gay” blog, since this aspect of myself is not especially important to me. I would ask however, that you not hold me to this description as this blog is very much a work in progress and may change substantially over time. The only things that are for certain are that I will put effort into the writing and the style will be unmistakeably my own. Beyond that, all bets are off.

I don’t think I’ll be posting every day but I will try to post something on a regular basis. I like my posts to be interesting, thoughtful and well-written, which takes some time. This post, in particular, has been written over a period of many days. This means that even those posts that recount current events in my life will not appear until several days after the mentioned events. Do not consider this some kind of pre-apology, because I am NOT sorry and do not compromise when it comes to writing in the manner I want. I encourage my readers to leave comments on my posts. Share an opinion, give advice, ask questions or just comment on what you see. Since this is my first blog I’m not sure what the most appropriate filter settings would be. As I want to encourage dialogue, I will leave things fully open for now and see how it works, then change things if necessary. If anyone has insights to share on this issue, let me know as well. Hope everyone enjoyed this post (and also hope I’m not just talking to myself).